we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
