So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
