I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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