I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
