so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
