Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
