Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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