he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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