apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
