I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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