is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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