Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
