Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
