Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
