Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
the liver wants what the liver wants
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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