Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
