I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
