why didn't you poke me back
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
