Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
