community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
