I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
