Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
