You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
