But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
