chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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