Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
