I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
