dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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