I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
