Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
