don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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