sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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