Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
