...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
