What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
