Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
