I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.