its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING