Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
