Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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