Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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