I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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