"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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