my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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