I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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