I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
