I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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