He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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