Where is the hickey?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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