Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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