the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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