So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think i have two assholes
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
