i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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