Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I will be naked everywhere
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
