I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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