your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
