i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
