Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.