Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.