I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba