Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend