I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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