I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
