this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
