would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
