Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
