Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
