I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
